Happy Independence Day to Me!!!

I have now been divorced long enough that I could have grown a complete adult!!! Oh... wait... I have... I grew me!

When I think about where I was 18 years ago... on my own, three little babies, no job and a house and car to pay for.... dang!

I have learned... I have grown... I have become a woman I love and respect.




A short piece written in the past.... I feel it today more than when first written in 2008!!!

I will no longer apologize...



I will no longer apologize... for being me.

I am a passionate, sensual woman...
who feels things deeply...
who experiences life through all five senses... all the time....
who likes to create and write as a way of processing feelings or experiences...
who is loving and giving....
who is open and unafraid of exploring emotions....
who appreciates....
who is intelligent and capable of debate....
who is curious....
who can handle herself around power tools....
who is willing to work...

Who deserves to be loved for the amazing woman she has become....

I AM WOMAN.... HEAR ME ROAR..... purrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...............

Apples no more.....

Enough!!!

Okay... so I am all about live and let live... love even the smallest of the small ... and everything has a place and purpose... but enough already!!! They have no natural predator!!! Why not?

I realize it is year 10 of the cycle, so the numbers will go down next spring.... but I don't want them moving in for the winter. And with the numbers increasing so rapidly and it not even summer yet.... something's got to give.



And so, I've had to take drastic measures.... what I find most interesting is that which gives life back to all the oil stricken animals of the Gulf, takes the life of the Nymphs of the North.



Add some Dawn dish washing detergent to water in a spray bottle and give them a shot. I must say that I am/was relieved... it pretty much stops them in their tracks without much suffering. There are other methods, but those seem more cruel.



I still find them fascinating....but enough!!!

The end is here....

Last year, I wasn't sure how the tree managed to produce fruit. The bark was falling off, bugs burrowed into the cambian layer, and animals were hollowing out the heartwood making its trunk their home.

When the blossoms came this spring I was beyond elated. Once again, Great Grammy was providing for yet a fourth generation. The apple tree she brought here in 1911 bloomed, danced with the bees, and began developing fruit.




With only one side of the tree still alive the tiny apples began to form and grow in size and weight. The trunk that once could bear the uneven load, can bear it no more. A week or so ago it was noted that the tree has broken from the ground and lifted as the apples continue to increase their volume.



I measure the separation distance daily. I keep an eye on the telephone lines that seem to be the only thing keeping the tree upright. I watch the leaves for curling. And the fruit for changes in color and size. It is our hope that the tree will survive the few weeks still needed to complete this years harvest.



It would be such a shame to have come this far in the season and not be able to bring it to fruition. (hmmmm... just look at that word... fruit i on) At this point there is no sign of it giving up. It seems to be rather feisty... just like the woman who brought it here.



Once the apples have dropped (I dare not even think of trying to pluck them from their locations) the phone company will be notified and the tree reduced to pieces, lying in a pile by the side of the road.

If any quality wood can be salvaged I intend to craft it into something that will remain and still be able to be passed through the generations. Not sure just what yet... I've got to see what the tree will gift me with this one last time.

I had so hoped the tree would last just one more year... but it would seem as though we will have to settle for 99.... as the end is here... whether we want it to be or not.

Baffling box elders!!!!

Around my house it's pretty much "live and let live" unless you are a spider in my sink, bathtub or crawling over the ceiling above me at 2 a.m. ready to conduct a covert operation by sliding down a strand of webbing to attack!

Recently, during a friend's visit, notice was taken of the little red critters that were making their way up the side of the grill, I suspect to get first dibs on dinner. I was asked what they were, but honestly had never taken the time to figure it out. I was aware that I had box elder bugs, but these seemed to be different. I simply stated that I didn't know but showed my guest how they are everywhere! I said, "just watch the rocks... they start to move." Sure enough when you take the time to truly look, the river rocks that surround my house are crawling with little red bugs.... all rather similar, but varying in size and detail.

I woke the following morning to an e-mail containing the identification of my little red guests.... they are... the... "ever changing box elder nymphs."

I immediately went outside. Upon closer examination I wondered how I could have ever missed the connection?!?! Of course they were!! Although varying in size and shape they all had that tell tale candy red abdomen with the bright yellow spot in the center as though kissed by the sun. Even the tiniest of nymphs had the sun spot.






Now my curiosity was ignited!
In my search to find out "what eats box elder bugs?" This is what I found out....

~ We are their only natural predator.
~ They increase in numbers (due to the males) over a ten year cycle and apparently we are on year ten, which would explain why I've been seeing more and more of them as of late.
~ They will travel for several miles to find a warm place to stay for the winter.
~ They will enter your home if they can get in.
~ Their scat will stain your curtains and if you squash them they emit an offensive odor.



~ They like rocks and the crevices they contain.
~ They eat Box elder and Maple tree seeds.
~ Their piercing sucking proboscis can penetrate flesh and cause an irritation.



~ They can drown.
~ Once the first frost hits, they will go away in search of a warm winter shelter.



Mostly, I just find them fascinating to watch. They are exceptionally sensitive to vibrations and scatter rather quickly.

My research did also present various ways to rid your house of them... but the way I see it... I've got flower beds and river rocks full of Maple tree seeds... start munching already!!!

Untangle Yourself....

Many years back my boys bought me a white wisteria vine for Mother's day. It was planted and grew next to a wooden arbor. Over the years the vine and arbor became so entwined that it became difficult to tell where one ended and the other began, both shaped and forever altered by the other's presence.

Tonight it was noted that a new relationship has begun. A grape vine has become enamored with the wisteria wrapping its delicate tendrils seductively about it's trunk garnishing life as it grows. The new relationship finds both plants flourishing from its existence as they entwine themselves growing in new directions yet still shaped by the past.

So it also goes with us. Throughout our lives we find ourselves entwined in relationships so intimate that they shape our very existence and encourage growth in new directions. And even though those relationships may be replaced by another... we remain forever altered... the past molding our present. As much as we may wish it possible, we are unable to untangle ourselves completely from the past carrying it with us forward as we reach out in different directions entwining ourselves with someone new.... changing.... learning...growing as we go.

Colors of life....

The last unit I teach for the year is on birds. I teach my students how to identify them by noting; size, song, behavior, field marks and color. The last of these items "color" always leads to the discussion about why the males are so bright (to attract a mate, proving himself strong and capable being that he can stand out and still survive) and the females are more dull, most often brown (allowing them to blend in and camouflage themselves while sitting on the nest).

This conversation tends to lead to the comparison between humans and birds and the question as to why it is that with humans, women are the ones to don the bright colors and put on the makeup (versus nuptial plumage) to impress.

In the bird world it is the female that chooses the mate. Whereas with us, it has become more the males job to choose his female.

Putting the whole "who chooses who" aside... the conversations got me thinking about myself... and the colors of my life and perhaps why I dress the way I do. I tend to like brown. It makes me feel safe, grounded, connected to the earth. I don't like to dress in bright colors that would cause me to stand out. I like to blend in to the background.

Maybe I was a bird in a previous life. Maybe that is why I have not yet been chosen....