Lost Diamonds....

I've never been one much for fancy jewelry. I've never had the money to splurge on diamonds, nor have the men in my life... I didn't mind. But there was one thing I did always secretly wish for.... a pair of diamond stud earrings... nothing terribly big, just simple elegance, given out of love.

A few years ago, I got my wish. Not only was I given diamond stud earrings, they were presented at the conclusion of a surprise birthday party with both my family and his in attendance.

It was at the moment that I put the diamonds in my ears that I understood the phrase, "Diamonds are a girl's best friend." But it wasn't the crystals set in white gold that the phrase spoke of.... it was my best friend.... the man whom I was dating... he was my diamond, my best friend.... and the crystals in my ears represented that friendship. It was that connection that made the diamonds so special to me.

I wore the earrings every day since receiving them.... even after the friendship came to a hurtful conclusion. They remained a symbol of what is important and the possibilities, if one puts for the effort.

A few days ago, after getting out of the shower and looking in the mirror, I realized that I had lost one of the diamonds. It must have gotten caught when I was washing my hair and swept down the drain with the lather.

My head and heart sank. I felt sad and defeated.... one last connection to the future lost to the past. Some days I feel that no matter how diligent I am, I am traveling backwards yet forced to go forward.

It got me thinking...

I've lost several diamonds over the years... some see only lumps of coal... but when I can see the good and potential in a person's heart, even if others or they themselves can't... then that is a stone to cherish.

I am grateful for all the diamonds/coal that I've found along my path of life... they've added sparkle, warmth or both.

It's a girl!!!

My son Benjamin adopted a little girl yesterday. She was orphaned, left to roam the streets, and only somewhere between 2 and 3 years old.

She is so frightened, but already looks at him with pleading eyes and wants to follow him every where. As soon as he leaves the room she starts to cry. In him, she finds comfort, safety, warmth and love.... she is so shy and sweet. She doesn't smile.

Of course, as soon as I heard the news I had to run to Philly to see the new baby and bring blankets, toys, a baby gate to keep her safe and many other things he might not yet even realize that he is going to need.

He's going to have his hands full... it's not like he has gotten her right from the womb to nurture, love and mold... she is going to require special love and attention to help her erase those feelings and lessons of abandonment...

Her name is Shila... and already she has won over my heart...

Friday's Live on Oprah

Last Friday Chris Rock was on Oprah Live. Normally I don't give much thought or attention to Oprah, but boredom and exhaustion found me on the couch for a few minutes and the remote was within reach.

Oprah was discussing recent headlines with Chris Rock. The topic of David Letterman's infidelity surfaced. Chris, always with a joke at the ready did not find humor in the situation. Not only did he not make a joke, but he spoke words that I found rather profound and have been thinking about this entire week.

He said, "When you cheat on your wife, you're cheating on your children. You need to make home right."

This is so true. I made my home right 16 years ago. So often people stay for the sake of the children. I got out for their sake. I needed to fix my home and if I hadn't, it would have cheated them of their successful future.

I'm not saying that staying isn't sometimes the right choice... but whatever your choice.... you need to be in it's presence and give it your complete attention and commitment. Commitment, is a choice.

It's not always easy... however... Only if you are present can you be true to all those involved, including yourself... and most importantly, your children.

Snowflakes keep falling on my head....

What a delightful surprise... as I walked out of work the sensation of impending snow was unmistakable....by the time I got home the heavy wet flakes were falling like rain.




Abbey and I danced around, taking pictures, catching snowflakes on our tongues and getting covered with heavy wet flakes. I think Abbey got some in her eyes.... :)

Moses, Moses, Moses....

Wednesday, a week and a half ago Rat and I stayed out until after ten o'clock at night, working by porch light as the world grew pitch black and disappeared around us.

We completed the back deck, but I needed his help to set the posts out front. I had tried to do it on my own over the previous weekend, but those dang screws!!!! Whomever redesigned the 'composite to wood' screws figured that whoever uses them will never make a mistake.... will never make a design change or need to back them out to reconfigure a cut!!!! What should have taken 20 minutes to complete took both of us, with pry bars, numerous drill bits, hammers and vice grips more than an hour and a half to do!!

The crunch was on... I was heading out Friday morning to visit my son in NH, staying in Maine and I wanted it done!

I worked well into the dark again on Thursday, this time alone.... by the time I was finished....all that needed to be done was to set the final post in the step, attached the three small side rails and the three top rails...

"Shouldn't" take long at all.... Rat agreed to stop by on his way to work Friday morning so we could finish before I left. Seems like the designs I come up with... nothing is never easy. This time we started in the dark and worked well into the light of day. He let work know he would be a little late.

I had to leave for Maine. Rat needed to get to work. The three top hand rails would have to wait until I returned.

And so there was Maine.... stayed at the beach, enjoyed my son's and mother's company, ate the most amazing lobster (for breakfast and dinner), discovered blueberry lemonade, watched surfing seagulls, played with puppies, bought shrubs for around the new deck, took the kid shopping for clothes and food (what else does a college kid need?), got rained on, tried to stay up late to read, stayed up late to visit a friend, met the kid for Sunday breakfast and drove the seven plus hours home....










Monday night, came home from work, needed to buy some groceries, cook a few meals and drive them down to Philly (minimum 3 hour round trip). Son number two was having a week of exams and would have little time to eat let alone cook. I was pleased that I could help him.

Tuesday night I crashed and burned. I had every intent of getting out there and working. Even changed my clothes and went out to start. But the tenant came home with her beautiful 5 month old baby girl and I asked if I could play with her for a bit.... We walked to the pond to look at geese, sat on the swings for awhile, and I got to baby sit for a bit. It is amazing to see the world through her eyes as she just took it all in. I'm pretty sure I was in bed by 8.

Wednesday night while waiting for Rat to come over... I managed to get all the new shrubs and plants in... Once he arrived, we set right to work... save dinner for after the daylight left us... and it did... but we finished!!! Not only did we finish, but we ate dinner and celebrated with some black mead I had picked up in Wisconsin this summer (on my way to MN) Dang that stuff is wicked!!! Kicked both our tired arses!!!

Thursday night with the loving support of my wonderful mother, I pitched three cords of mulch.

Friday night I had errands to run as I had invited friends from work over to celebrate..but I still had work to do before they arrived.

Saturday morning.... get the house clean, make the burgers, do the laundry, prep the food, get the glasses cleaned, power wash the decks..... AND... shovel a ton (literally) of river rocks and wash them!!! But I got it all done with time to spare and we had a marvelous time celebrating the completion of the decks!!
















It is an amazing feeling to have totally completed the projects!!!

I've dotted the i's and crossed the t's....

So, let it be written.... So, let it be done.
Mouse, Mouse, Mouse.....