The Story of Joshua.....

Teaching is like throwing pebbles into a pond, one never knows just how far the ripples will go. As a teacher we hope to inspire....to make a difference...true difference in just one young life.

Sometimes you work your entire career without the knowledge of having made a difference...and sometimes you are gifted with the knowledge that you mattered...to just one. Joshua is my "just one."


For nearly a decade I had been teaching Life Science / Biology. It was my passion. I had worked so hard to obtain the certification and goal of teaching science, working through the ranks and patiently waiting for someone to retire. But I did it. I loved it. And I was good at it!

However, the District restructured and because I am multi-certified and the only person in the science department that was multi-certified, I was reassigned to teach Kindergarten.

To say that the reassignment was met with great angst would be an understatement.

My first day of Kindergarten was nothing short of chaos including a little blonde haired, blue eyed boy named Joshua, that seemed to have been raised under a rock and threatened to hit another little boy. My first day of Kindergarten and already I've got to take two boys to the principal's office!

I was struggling. I couldn't figure out why I felt so lost. Yet, every day I came to work and attempted to make a difference.

I didn't always know what to do. I really didn't know why I was there. Most of them seem to follow my confused lead, but Joshua seemed as though he had never even seen a pencil before. He didn't even know how to make it leave it's mark on a piece of paper. Day after day I guided him, hand over hand....seemingly getting nowhere.

Weeks passed and I finally realized why I, personally, was struggling so much. I was finally able to define my emotions....I felt as though I had been stripped of my identity. I didn't know who I was anymore. As a Biology teacher I knew who I was and was very proud of my accomplishments. When someone would ask what I did for a living, I was proud to say that I taught science. My response was met with admiration. When admitting that I now taught kindergarten, the comment would be met with snickers and questions like, "What did you do to get demoted?"

I knew I couldn't change anyone else's perceptions, but I knew I needed to change mine. So one afternoon, at the end of the day while sitting at my desk, instead of breaking down into tears I decided to make....or at least, start, a list. A list of reasons to come back the next day.

It started with simple things like the daily hugs, constant "I love you"s, and getting a child to stop crying. Each day I would force myself to come up with at least one good reason to come back. I can't really recall much of the list. It only ended up being about 20 things long. But I do remember the last thing I wrote on the list.

The last thing I wrote on the list was....Joshua wrote his name today, all by himself.

The shy little, blonde haired, blue eyed, frustrated, angry boy full of ,"I can't"s and "I don't know how"s, had written his name. The whole class cheered for him that day and my eyes welled with prideful tears....MY Joshua, wrote his name!

I didn't need to keep the list anymore after that day. I knew why I was there.

As days and weeks passed, the story of Joshua perplexed me. He was very well kempt. Always clean. Nice clothes. Healthy wonderful snacks of fresh strawberries, cherry tomatoes and grapes that he would come to insist on sharing with me daily. Strawberries became our thing. Yet, it was obvious no one had (or was) really spent time with him to read to him, teach him his letters or numbers. He was intellectually neglected. I came to learn that he was the child of teen parents now only in their very early 20's who were now separated and angry with each other. Turns out that Joshua was basically being raised by his great grandmother, with whom his father also lived.

It took time for Joshua to trust...and then one day he came and stood next to me as I was typing on my computer. With his head bowed, he barely whispered...."Miss Garvis...I really like you." The next day, head still down, he whispered again...."Miss Garvis, I really really like you. I really really do". I would reply, "I really like you, too."

Over a few short days, his head lifted, his eyes brightened and looking me right in the eyes as he stood in front of me he said, "Miss Garvis, I love you. I really really love you" and threw himself into my arms.

My heart was his.

And so it began...every morning I was greeted with a genuine hug and an "I love you" and "I love you"s all through the day. Oh, and of course, he always needed to share his snack with me.

Joshua learned quickly and by January was headed towards getting put into my top reading group. He just need someone to invest in his intellectual growth.

And then came a very sad Monday in February. Joshua didn't come to school. Nor did he on Tuesday. His great grandmother informed me that his mother had taken him for her weekend of visitation and refused to bring him and his older sister back. Mom, who was living with her girl friend and was constantly being evicted and thus moving for not paying rent wanted the benefit of having children to garnish monetary benefits from the state.

Different counties, different laws, dad unable to drive up to get the kids, mom refusing to let them come home, blah, blah, blah..... Joshua was gone. I never got to say good-bye.

It took me a long time to accept that he was not coming back. Our class learned to move on without his presence.

With only nine days left in the school year, my classroom phone rang. The secretary was calling to inform me that I was getting a new student. My response was, "You're kidding me! So late in the year?" but she soon stopped my verbal frustrations and told me it was Joshua, that he was back and wouldn't be starting until the next day, but wanted to know if he could come down and see me. Of course.

Figuring it'd be best if I met him out in the hall where we would be alone, I asked someone to cover my class. He was a good 50 feet up the hall when he saw me and broke into a run jumping into my arms wrapping his arms and legs around me, squeezing tight, and not letting go. Roughly five minutes passed until he finally pulled back with tears streaming down his cheeks.....Tears streaming down my cheeks.

The next day was a different story. He was back to the shy, scared, untrusting little boy I had met back in September. His world had been pulled out from under him and he was afraid to open his heart again, lest he be pulled away.

His great grandmother and I spoke about it and she stated that if anyone could get him back, I could. I had nine days.....he had regressed so very much academically....and socially he was just so scared....but I got him back,(and his beautiful carefree smile) at least emotionally....took me about five days.

On the last day of school while I was out to lunch his great grandmother had come and left a dozen red roses on my chair with a note that they were from Joshua. When the kids came back from lunch I thanked Joshua for the beautiful roses that were from him. I asked him if he knew he was getting them for me. He said, "Of course, that's what you do when you really love somebody."

(to be continued....)